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7 Ways to Fail as a Missionary

Missionaries are not superheroes. If you’re a missionary hopefully you know that by now!

I’ve failed more than once as a missionary and that’s why I want to share with you some common ways that missionaries can fail.

Sometimes it’s helpful to look at our mistakes so that we can learn from them and make the changes necessary to facilitate growth in our lives.

Here are seven ways you can fail as a missionary!

1. Fail to learn the language

When a missionary is new to the field there can often be a sense of urgency, a rush to jump into ministry and get things done!

Unfortunately that rush often leads to over reliance on translators. If you do not stop at some point to seriously study the language you will be very unlikely to ever make enough progress to work completely on your own.

Time dedicated early on to language learning will pay off big in the end.

2. Fail to engage the culture

The differences of a new culture can scare you, however, missionaries who “cubby hole” and don’t get out and engage with society  are setting themselves up for failure.

It’s ok to have some things that remind you of your home country in your house  but it’s not ok to insulate yourself from your new culture.

You can insulate yourself by:

  • Spending more time with other expatriates than with nationals.
  • Not building meaningful relationships with your neighbors.
  • Spending all your free time interacting with all your American friends online.
  • Having a home that you never invite nationals into.

3. Fail to communicate

30 years ago it was ok to send a newsletter once a month or even once a quarter!  Today that is simply not acceptable.

Today if you want to know what your friends and family are up to you can check social networks like Facebook, Twitter or Youtube and be almost instantly updated.

I recommend that missionaries communicate with their supporters 2-4 times a month via email. Updates on social networks can be more frequent, from several times a week to several times a day.

4. Fail to care for your own spiritual needs

Missions is a spiritual battle! Christina and I realized this shortly after we arrived in Ukraine. We knew it theoretically before but we had never experienced it until we got on the field.

Missionaries need a source of spiritual life, they need fellowship with other believers, they need to know that they are not alone, they need someone who can speak truth into their own lives.

Sometimes those things can be hard to find on the mission field, however, they are vital and missionaries who succeed have found them.

5. Fail to care for your health

In my experience health problems often force missionaries to leave the field.  Some of this is an unavoidable result of aging.

However, many of the health problems missionaries experience are the result of many years of disregard for basic principles of diet and health.  Mission work can tax you spiritually, emotionally and physically!

Simply getting daily exercise, not over eating and eating a healthy diet can make a world of difference. Over the long run a healthy physical lifestyle will result in more energy to minister and maybe more years to minister as well!

6. Fail to care for your family

I’m not really sure how big of a factor each of these are but I’d put this one right near the top. Family issues are at the core of why many missionaries choose to leave their field.

Unfortunately, many children and wives are left with the feeling that the ministry has stolen their father/husband. This can have devastating results on the family. Missionaries who don’t put a priority on their family’s well-being will end up losing out in the end.

7. Fail to love people

Do I really need to say anything here?

Yes, I do!

Here’s the thing, no one in their right mind would tell you that they think we shouldn’t love people.  However, when it comes down to it loving people is not always as easy as we might think.

People are messy, people say mean things, people do stupid things, people can disrespect you, people can lack gratitude and be dishonest and I’m just talking about myself!!!

Sometimes people come with nice packaging but inside is always a complicated, twisted and broken heart that’s in need of mending!

Yes, loving people is the most difficult thing a missionary does and the most important!

I’m not done yet!

Talking about failure too much can make you depressed and that’s not what I want from this post. This weekend I’m recording a new episode of “Now is the Time” podcast where I’ll be focusing on characteristics of a successful missionary, so please don’t miss the podcast!

You can also join the conversation by answering the question below. I’ll be including some of your answers in the podcast.

Question: Share some examples from your life of a successful missionary. What made them successful?

31 Responses
  • Dave Arnold
    September 5, 2013

    Great thoughts Caleb. Even though I’m not overseas, my family & I live in Dearborn, MI, the largest Arabic-speaking area outside of the Middle East. I’m learning Arabic, know our neighbors and am intentional about being in people’s homes. This post affirmed I’m doing what I need to do!

    • Caleb
      September 6, 2013

      Dave you have a huge mission field there so keep up the good work!

  • Caleb
    September 6, 2013

    Yes, Rachel there can be pressure from the mission and from supporters to get “results”. Great point!

  • Dan Erickson
    September 6, 2013

    I’ve never been a missionary, but I shudder when I hear some missionaries speaking only about how they’re going to win people over to Christ. The passion is nice, but people from other nations have been steeped in completely different cultures for years. I don’t think it would be wise to go in with a gong-ho attitude for winning souls. We need to treat people as individuals and respect their culture, too.

    • Caleb
      September 6, 2013

      Amen to that Dan! Many missionaries have caused more harm than good by stomping in with American/Western culture. Instead of sharing the gospel they shared our culture and converted people to American way of life.

      • Ngina Otiende
        September 6, 2013

        Agree with both of you! More and more I am seeing how a lack of understanding on how the rest of the world works can hinder missions work. I am African and have lived in African all my life, until two years ago when i moved to the US. It’s amazing what people think about Africa here in the US. I’ve found it’s the same when it comes to the kind of ministry or help people imagine Africa needs.

        • Caleb
          September 6, 2013

          Ngina you have a unique perspective after changing countries and cultures. I find that after 6 years Ukraine has really rubbed off on me. Now I view the US with different eyes and I understand Ukrainian culture better. There are parts of the culture that I’ve assimilated into my personality and parts that I haven’t. I believe I’m a different and better person for having lived in two cultures, both of which I love!

      • Dan Erickson
        September 6, 2013

        I posted another comment. I actually meant it as a reply here.

  • Ngina Otiende
    September 6, 2013

    Caleb, these are great thoughts for anyone moving into a new culture as well. I smiled at # 1 , cos i speak with an accent and people will sometimes struggle to hear what I am saying. But I put on a subtle American accent, it’s easier to be understood. Great tips!

    • Caleb
      September 6, 2013

      Ngina, I speak with an accent too, well in Russian anyway! I’m sure if you try you can pick up a nice American accent but don’t completely lose your accent because that makes you you!

  • floyd
    September 6, 2013

    That really takes the lid off of the shiny box doesn’t it? It’s real and raw, not easy, but a calling of grace. Sometimes I think my world is a bit tough… until I’m reminded of these kind of truths and those of you doing the work on the front lines… Thanks for your service and heart. I’m praying for you and your family.

    • Caleb
      September 6, 2013

      Floyd thanks for your prayers, they’re appreciated. You’re right, missionary life isn’t all chocolates and roses. The romance wears off pretty quickly and then you’re left with real life and what you need is a big dose of God’s grace and and extra filling of the Holy Spirit to deal with it in a way that honors God and attracts people to Jesus.

  • Dan Erickson
    September 6, 2013

    I’m a lover of Iceland. I read a report about some missionaries who immediately went in and told the youth that worshipping the Icelandic God, Thor, was evil. But if they grew up learning this it has ben instilled in them. You can’t just come in and erase years of teaching and expect people to respect you.

    • Caleb
      September 6, 2013

      Dan I agree, it can be dangerous to go in and immediately try to redo hundreds or thousands of years of tradition and belief. I like Apostle Paul’s approach when he went to Athens. He took his time, observed their culture and beliefs and then when he was given the opportunity to talk to them he used their own culture/beliefs/gods to show them who the One true God is!

  • Caleb
    September 7, 2013

    Good points Rob! I agree, calling is very important. Missionaries who aren’t convinced that God has called them are much more likely to go home early. I know that I personally have gone back to my calling and several difficult occasions.

    Thanks for adding to the conversations and blessings to you in Manila!

  • Dan Black
    September 7, 2013

    I’ve learned a lot about the topic of missionary work from reading your blog. I think you mentioned all of the major reasons why missionaries fail. I’d add they fail to be directed to where God wants them to go and the things He has called them to specifically do. They are passionate about being missionaries but don’t take the time to wait for God’s leading.

    • Caleb
      September 7, 2013

      That’s true, Dan, sometimes if we’re not careful we can just charge forward in our passion without seeking God’s guidance. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you have been able to learn about missions by reading my blog. I think I can also say that I’ve learned a ton of useful things on your blog about leadership. As a missionary many of the leadership principles you share I can apply daily!

      Blessings to you and keep up the good work!

      • Dan Black
        September 7, 2013

        It can be a danger even for the best intentioned people. I’m glad we can sharpen each other and grow our friendship.

  • Charles Hutchinson
    September 9, 2013

    It’s interesting that you mention how technology has changed missions. My pastor and his wife have been in Taiwan for the past 6 weeks (coming home this week, yay!) and to think, just a few years ago, staying in contact would have required writing letters and maybe a phone call or two. Today we Skype, email and Facebook with them. It helps our local body to get updates on Sunday mornings FROM the pastor IN Taiwan. We can see how “allowing” them to be gone has impacted the Kingdom outside of our little corner of the world.

    • Caleb
      September 9, 2013

      We are very grateful for the technology that allows us to keep in contact with churches, supporters and family. My youngest child thought his grandparents lived in the computer not long ago. Now we are getting ready to head back to the US for a few months and I’m glad that my parents wont be like strangers to my kids because we’ve kept contact with them through Skype.

  • Larry Poole
    September 11, 2013

    Caleb, this post resonated with me…especially #4.

    When you fail to care for your spiritual needs, your relationship with Christ dies…regardless of your profession. But I can only imagine how hard that must be on the mission field.

    Also, neglecting family is huge. Unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way. I got so caught up in work/responsibilities that my relationship with my wife and daughter were put on the back burner. As a result, everyone and everything in my life suffered.

    We’ve got to also be diligent and make sure we are putting first things first. Thanks for sharing.

    • Caleb
      September 11, 2013

      Larry, I think the added difficulty in missions is that often missionaries see such a huge need and they feel that it’s their responsibility to care for every need they see. Unfortunately that can lead to burn out and lack of caring for your own spiritual needs.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  • TCAvey
    September 17, 2013

    Thorough post.

    I’m not a missionary, but I can see how neglecting prayer time can really hinder one’s ability to being used. We can’t get so caught up in DOING that we forget to spend time with our father. Sometimes the greatest thing we can do for another is to pray for them.

    • Caleb
      September 17, 2013

      It is easy to get caught up “DOING” and forget that God isn’t as interested in what we do as he is in who we are. That means we must make our relationship with God first!

      • TCAvey
        September 17, 2013

        Well said! I love that God doesn’t just change situations, He changes us! He is all about us! That’s awesome.

  • Loren Pinilis
    September 20, 2013

    #4 hits hard. I also would add a failure to pray. I’ve seen that in my own ministry at my local church. It’s so easy for me to rely on my own strength and methods instead of constantly being dependent on God.

    • Caleb
      September 20, 2013

      And #4 is probably a bigger problem than most people realize! I think the same thing goes for anyone in ministry. It’s so easy to do the ministry and forget that we need to be growing too. Paul Tripp hits that really hard in “Dangerous Calling” I LOVE that book!

  • Sean Bradford
    September 26, 2013

    Good list. Helpful reminders. But what about adding financial support? I’ve seen many missionaries struggle, not only raising support in the first place, but having support dwindle every year to where they have to come home and raise more support!
    I think that’s a terrible problem but one I see all too often.

    • Caleb
      September 26, 2013

      You’re right Sean financial support is important to keeping a missionary on the field. I think that would mainly be related to the 3rd point. “Fail to communicate”. Missionaries that communicate well tend to gain and keep their support levels.

  • Mendeleyev
    October 2, 2013

    Suicide rates among Missionary Kids are very high. The lack of financial support causes tremendous stress and there is simply no provision for family emergencies on such a tight budget. No money to set aside for retirement, no money for kids college, no money for adequate health care, etc. The church has blood on her hands. As a former MK and former evangelical, I make it a matter of principle to walk out of a church if I see some offensive display like a wall full of missionary photos and that church is so proud of their mission zeal for which they award each missionary $25, $50, $100 per month. That is pointless.

    • Caleb
      October 2, 2013

      Hello Jim!

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

      I have not seen the statistics that you are referring to about suicide rates among MK’s. What is your source for that?

      You bring up some important issues. Lack of financial support can lead to stress on a family.

      I’m thankful that our mission has great financial policies in place that really help eliminate that problem. Most missions that we work with today require their missionaries to set aside funds for retirement and also provide for health insurance and college funds.

      I also know that many missions have a 100% support policy before sending missionaries to the field. That helps make sure their needs are taken care of.

      I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad experience as an MK. I believe that God loves MK’s just as much as any child. I’m thankful that my kids really enjoy being MK’s. We try our best to provide them with a stable loving home and let them know that family always comes first.

      Blessings to you!