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There’s a Monster in My Basement

I have a monster in my basement!

I have a monster who lives in my basement, I know!

He’s been there for about 35 years or so.

He has 4 eyes a giant nose and a huge appetite,

He eats so much food I have to feed him 3 times every night!

I do my best to keep him hidden away,

If my friends saw him I don’t know what they’d say.

The problem is that he’s getting bigger all the time,

Last week he gained about 30 pounds, not counting the slime!

And when he gets mad you wouldn’t believe the nasty scent

which comes up through the chimney and then through the vent.

Once he popped his gnarly head out the door,

I had to convince my neighbor it was a shadow and nothing more.

Years ago he was tiny little thing

Who hardly ate more than a chicken wing.

It wasn’t much to keep him fed,

At night he didn’t even get me out of bed.

I thought, “Now, this is not so bad,

As long as I give him a little food, he’s glad.

No one can fault me if I keep this monster a little longer,

I’ll be sure to get rid of him before he gets bigger and stronger.”

I kept saying that to myself every day of every week

But something kept me from getting rid of that freak.

At first it was fun to have him around:

When I played with him he’d make this cute little sound.

“I can give you just a few more minutes,” I’d say

“Then I’ll have to go and get on with my day.”

We’d meet regularly for 15 mins or more,

Then it was an hour sometimes three or even four.

Now I spend almost all my time with that thief

And he throws giant fits when I don’t bring him roast beef!

I’m tired my poor bones just ache

But I can’t stop now because I know what’s at stake!

If I let him out he’ll run all over town

Spreading his terrible stink around.

Then I figured what would be best:

I’d slaughter that beast and finally get some rest.

I tiptoed down the stairs quiet as can be

Only to find him waiting for me!

“You can’t kill me,” he said with a sneer.

“Just try and I’ll prove that it’s quite impossible, my dear.”

I raised the knife into the air with a start

Then brought it down swiftly into the old monster’s heart.

He looked at me strangely with eyes all aglow

Then said, “Fool, there’s something you should know.

My heart and your heart are one and the same,

You can’t kill me because you’re really the one to blame!”


We have a problem

 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? Jer 17:9

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies; Matthew 15:19  

We have hope

So that if any one is in Christ, that one is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 

 For He has made Him who knew no sin, to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2Co 5:17, 21

Question: Do you have a monster in your basement? What does he look like?

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I am a pastor, missionary, and preacher of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in Ukraine since 2007. God blessed me with a wonderful wife and 5 amazing children! My greatest passion is to teach, encourage, and exhort others to turn to Jesus, who is Savior, Lord, and God!

  • Nancy

    Wow, this is true!

    • Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! Now I just need to write a sequel as that poem ends on a bit of a bad note.

      • Did you make the sequel? You linked to this poem from “don’t measure your spiritual growth like this”. Just curious! 😉 The poem is quite ironic. Isn’t it?

        • No I haven’t yet written a sequel 🙁

          • I like the irony of this poem though. It’s so true… Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • Well done, Caleb. The eyes are a dead give away!