During my high school years I used to do some work for an older lady who loved to complain. What did she complain about? She had the terrible skill of turning almost anything that was wholesome and positive into a complaint. A typical conversation would go something like this:
Me: “Good morning! Isn’t it a beautiful day?”
Her: “It would have been if those birds didn’t start singing at 4:30 am and wake me up!”
Me: “Oh well at least you got an early start to the day.”
Her: “And now I’m so tired I’ll probably get nothing at all done today!”
As you can imagine people didn’t really enjoy being around her. How did I manage? Honestly, I’m not really sure but I think it had something to do with the fact that I had the skill of keeping my mouth shut and just getting the work done.
One thing I learned from that woman was that complainers like their complaints to be heard and they really like it when people respond to their complaints with phrases like “Poor you!” or “How terrible!” and even better “I can’t believe you have suffered so much!” If you simply quit reacting to their complaints they’ll soon stop their grumbling or at least they’ll tone it down a bit.
Complainers in the Bible
This week I’m teaching the book of Numbers in our Bible survey class. If you ever want to hear some good complainers that’s the book to go to! When the Israelites left Egypt they stopped being slaves and instead became full-time complainers!
What did the Israelites complain about?
- They were generally discontent Num 11:1
- They complained about the food Num 11:4-6
- They complained about the leadership Num 14:1-4
- They complained about how God had disciplined them Num 16:41
- They complained about the direction God was taking them Num 21:5
Reading about all this complaining reminded me of a few things.
Complaints are self focused
Have you ever noticed that people who like to complain never complain about other people’s problems. By nature complaints are self-centered and myopic. When we complain we fail to see the bigger picture of what God is doing in our life and in the lives of others!
Complaints never get you very far
Complainers are a pain to be around because they never really do anything to change their situation except grumble about it. In reality they shoot themselves in the foot. If you want to make progress in life you’ll do well by shutting your mouth and getting to work. I like how Paul says it. “But godliness with contentment is great gain!”
Complaints are an accusation against God
You may not realize it but every time you complain you are accusing God of either acting unjustly or unwisely. It’s like saying “God if you really knew what you were doing you wouldn’t have allowed this to happen to me!”
Complaints can have deadly consequences
Don’t brush off your complaints and discontentment as no big deal. When the Israelites complained God took it so seriously and consumed some of them with fire!
Eventually, the people began complaining about their distress, and the LORD heard them. When the LORD heard, his anger flared up and the LORD’s fire incinerated some of them within the outskirts of the camp. Numbers 11:1
Question: What are you tempted to complain about? How do you overcome the temptation to complain?
Deb
April 18, 2013So true Caleb, I’m a first time visitor and will return often. My word for 2013 is gratitude. This month I’ve focused on adjusting my attitude through intentional gratitude. It’s amazing how easily we can get into the habit of complaining without realizing. I live in the mid-USA and it’s rained all day. I keep trying to remind myself that the springtime growth needs moisture instead of grumbling about the damp chill in the air. It’s all about perspective and praise. Thanks for this great challenge!
Caleb
April 18, 2013Deb, I like your word for the year! I know that often people, including myself, complain without even realizing it, so your right on about being intentional in having an attitude of gratitude. You reminded me also of a post I wrote last Fall on discontentment, https://sukofamily.org/?p=1636 you might want to check it out.
Thanks for stopping by and hope to see you here again!
Dan Black on Leadership
April 19, 2013Great post Caleb! At times I can complain about not having enough money. I have to keep a proper perspective and think about everyone else in the world having less then I do. I also tend to complain about the San Diego traffic and when I do try and give my stress to God.
Caleb
April 19, 2013Dan, I’m pretty sure that you’re not alone in complaining about money. I heard recently at a conference I was at that if you make more than 25,000 a year you are in the top 10-15% of the would’s population. It helps to have a good perspective on things like that.
I don’t blame you about the traffic, on the other hand maybe that could be a blessing since you can use the time to listen to something edifying.
Loren Pinilis
April 29, 2013There was a season in my life where I complained a lot. It wasn’t even that I was bitter (or so I thought). I realized it was really just my way of making conversation. In that awkward pause, I would start talking about things I didn’t like. Once I realized that and changed that simple habit, then it had a profound effect on my relationships and also the way I felt.
Caleb
May 1, 2013Loren, it seems to me that complaining is one of those unfortunate results of man’s sin nature. It’s so easy to just fall into a habit. I find that I often have to correct my way of thinking and speaking after some discouraging event in my life. Thanks for sharing!
Jens Vogel
July 4, 2013Hi Celeb,
a very good post!
But in the psalms we find a lot of complaining in conversations with God. For me is more important if I bring my complaints to Him or not. If I do, He will chance my heard an my mind, but if I culitvate it in myself or in front of others, it has the power to make me bitter. So I think complaints in our heard are real and we shouldn´t deny them but we should bring them to Jesus with the fear of God.
Most of the Psalms, where you find complaints change inbetween to gratitude and worship. That is what the Holy Spirit is doing when we adress them correct.
Regards and Blessings,
Jens from Germany
Caleb
July 4, 2013Jens, you’re right, there is some complaining going on in the Psalms, in fact there’s complaining going on all throughout the Bible. However, we should keep in mind that just because something is in the Bible doesn’t mean it is a practice we should repeat. The Bible is pretty clear when it comes to complaining, check out Philippians 2:14.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “For me is important if I bring my complaints to Him or not.” I believe that is key and I also think we can bring those complaints to God in a way that isn’t really complaining but rather simply being obedient in prayer to God.
Thanks for stopping by Jens!