Have you ever wondered why there are so many christians who don’t seem to experience true joy? Maybe you’re one of them. Too often I and many of you think we are pursuing real joy only to find that we have been duped by fake joy.
It’s never a good feeling to be duped by anyone or anything but this deception is particularly vile because it not only robs us of true joy but replaces it with things like anger, depression, guilt, and anxiety.
With the help of God’s Word let’s look at 8 signs you’ve been duped by false joy. In order to do this I will use Proverbs chapter seven.
In this infamous chapter Solomon describes in detail the seduction of a young man by an adulterous woman. The adulterous woman is contrasted to wisdom at the beginning of the chapter. The actions of the adulterous woman not only teach us about how to avoid the sin of adultery but serve as an illustration of how all kinds of sin entice us and deceive us into thinking that they can give us joy. In the end their joy is false, their promises are empty, and the result is death. False joy isn’t just unpleasant, it’s deadly!
for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng.
Pro 7:26-27
Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death.
#1. It doesn’t require thoughtfulness
… and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house
Pro 7:7-8
Does it pull you in headlong without asking many question, does it encourage you to act before you think, does it dismiss logical thought as though it were a joy killer? Then you can be sure that whatever you’re seeking is false joy! God is the God of thought. All through the proverbs young men and women are called to carefully consider their ways, to analyze their behavior and the behavior of others. If something doesn’t require careful thought you’d better stay far away from it.
#2. In some way it tries to hide itself
Pro 7:9
In the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness.
In an increasingly wicked culture sin increasingly finds fewer reasons to hide, yet even so we find that false joy is a joy of the night. Is there an sense of shame in the joy you are pursuing? Do you hide aspects of it from family members and friends? Is it something that you’d rather keep hidden away in your private life?
While not all will approve of you if you pursue the joy of the Lord, you can be sure that God’s joy is a joy that can’t be hidden and doesn’t want to be hidden. It is a public joy for all people at all times.
#3. It’s not hard to find
She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait.
Pro 7:11-12
We may want to hide our pursuit of false joys from others but these empty pleasures sure don’t hide from us. They are on every other page of your favorite magazine, they show up first as you scroll your social media, they are plastered to the billboards of our life, engraved on the signposts of our daily habits, and woven into the fabric of our minds.
#4. It seeks you rather than you seeking it
She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him, “I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows; so now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
Pro 7:13-15
Not only are false joys easy to find but they actually seek you and me. That means unless our defenses are up, unless we are paying close attention to the direction of our hearts, we are likely to be found by false joys without even leaving the confines of our own home.
True joy, however, must be relentlessly pursued, we must intentionally direct our hearts towards it and discipline our minds for it.
#5. It focuses on your appetites
I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen; I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Pro 7:16-17
False joy preys on our appetites for food, sex, money, fame, power, entertainment, comfort, or anything else it can get its hands on. It tells us that if we only fulfill this one desire we will finally be satisfied. It’s promises are empty.
#6. It offers immediate gratification
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love.
Pro 7:18
Immediacy is the lure of all false joys. Do it now and feel it now, do it again and feel it again. False joys do exhort us to wait, they don’t promote self-control and discipline but rather they say, “Put away your work, put aside your responsibilities, think not of tomorrow, and enjoy yourself now.” The reality is that most false joys would not be pursued if we had to wait a considerable amount of time.
False joys decrease our patience, increase our impulsivity and destroy our discipline.
#7. It promises no repercussions
For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home.”
Pro 7:19-20
If we really knew what was behind that false joy none of us would ever pursue it. But when we fall for the bait we always fail to see the hook and the line. Hidden behind every false joy are angry husbands, lost families, addictions, disappointments, health problems, and more.
#8. It gives temporary and conditional satisfaction to your desires
Whenever we look to some person, experience, or thing to give us joy it will always be temporary and conditioned upon the right set of circumstances. That’s simply because all things except for God are circumstantial and temporary. God’s joy is the only joy that does not depend upon our circumstances because he is above and beyond all of them. His joy is not temporary because he is eternal and he is the source of the joy that he gives.
#9. It flatters you
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him.
Pro 7:21
There is an element of flattery in false joy, part of it’s seduction is to make us feel like we deserve this, like we have earned it. It may convince you that everyone else already has this joy and are the last one to experience it. It tells you that your great and good and amazing and of all people you have justly merited this reward.
#10. It eventually destroys you
All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death.
Pro 7:22-27
Don’t think that false joys will immediately destroy you, they won’t. At first you may even have a sense that these new “joys” have opened up a new world for you. Some people go on for years pursuing empty joys only to realized at the end of their life that they have spent their energy on that which returned to them nothing but pain, disappointment, and regret. You may even feel like you are now “really living!” False joys can give temporary euphoria but don’t be deceived. If you’re pursuing joy outside of God you’re pursuing destruction.
