While it seems everyone is thinking about how to stay healthy and how to survive the financial fallout caused by the Coronavirus and quarantine there are many millions of people who have something else on their minds entirely. Thanks to the Coronavirus porn sites are seeing spikes in their traffic worldwide. Pornhub reported up to a 25% increase of visitors in March compared to their average.
I have also seen a disturbing spike in searches coming to my blog with people searching for “Is porn wrong?” I can’t tell you for sure who is making these searches but I have a suspicion there are Christians or out there who are seriously wondering if it’s really a sin to view porn.
When people give in to the temptation to view porn there are 3 major aspects at work:
- Opportunity
- Isolation
- Justification.
When these 3 conditions are met it’s nearly guaranteed that you will cave to the temptation of pornagraphy. The problem is that the combination of internet access and quarantine has already put into place the first two aspects of this dangerous trio. If you have internet on your phone, then you have opportunity and if you are quarantined then you have isolation. All that is left is for you to justify the act of viewing pornography.
Knowing that many millions are facing the struggle with pronography more intensely than ever before. I decided that this is a good time to clearly spell out the case for condemning pornography. I hope than in reading the reasons I give below you will decide for yourself that pornography isn’t harmless entertainment.
First I’ll give you what I see are some of the main justifications for porn use and then I’ll share with you where I think these arguments go wrong.
1. Pornography doesn’t involve anyone else so it can’t hurt anyone
You may be alone when you engage in pornograpy. You may think no one is watching you, you may think that it doesn’t make a difference but you’d be very, very wrong if you thought that way.
In order for you to engage in pornography someone had to sell their body or worse, someone was enslaved and forced into it. What you don’t see is the slave owner on the other side of the camera. You don’t see the drug abuses caused by deep emotional scars from working in the porn industry. You don’t see the suicides their industry drives them to either. No, all you see is a few erotic scenes meant to give you a seconds of pleasure.
But let’s not stop there. It’s well known that pornoraphy is at the root cause for many serial rapists and murders like Ted Bundy. But most people think, “I’m not a Ted Bundy!” That’s why it’s important to note that the prevalence of even softcore pornography also coincides with the increase and acceptance of “rape culture.”
Any way you put it your viewing of pornography is not a solitary matter done in isolation. It brings real harm to millions of people, most of them young girls.
Also let’s not forget that pornography can be more addicting than many illicit drugs, so you’re harming yourself as well. You’re harming your ability to relate to girls and women in a non sexual way. You’re emparing your ability to control your appetites and be self-disciplined. You’re destroying your chances to have a normal and healthy sex life with your husband or wife. You’re hurting your family.
In short you are also harming yourself and opening yourself up to all kinds of other harmful sins.
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
Pro 25:28
2. Pornography isn’t real sex so it’s not wrong
We need to stop thinking of pornography as something that’s not real. If you read my first point then you have to admit that all pornography has a very real damaging effect in people’s lives. It’s just as real as having intercorse with another person only that that there is a gap in time and distance between the parties involved in the sex act.
The fact that you are physically and chronologically removed doesn’t justify porn. The sin of porn is a sin of the heart and it is first of all condemned in the 10th commandment.
… you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife
Exo 20:17
Later Jesus gives us a more detailed explanation of this commandment in connection with the 5th commandment.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Mat 5:27-28
Pornography is really nothing more than coveting sexually that which is not yours, that which God did not give you. This kind of covetousness we call lust and according to Jesus it’s just as wrong as actually having sex with someone outside of marriage.
People engage in pornography simply because there’s far more opportunity for pornography than there is for real sex with another person. Most people if given the opportunity and the right circumstance would chose sex with a real person over pornography. That is to say we simply use pornography as a substitute, in our heart we are ready and willing to engage in the real thing.
Pornography is wrong and it is a sin because it reveals the lust of our heart for that which does not belong to us.
3. Pornography helps me not feel so lonely
I’m sorry that you’re lonely but what you need to know is that by viewing pornography you are significantly increases the chances that you will go further down the road of loneliness. Because pornography isn’t an actual relationship it doesn’t help us to develop real relationships but rather impares our ability to do so. Because pornography presents an unattainable high standard of body perfection, eroticism, and sexual pleasure it will undoubtedly cause you to be more apprehensive about your own sexuality in a relation and less satisfied by the sexuality of your husband or wife leading you yet further down the road of loneliness.
The association between pornography use and loneliness may be explained in a number of different ways. For example, those who watch pornography may experience more loneliness as a result of relationship distress (Willoughby, Carroll, Busby, & Brown, 2016) and attachment disruption, creating separation and emotional distancing in a pair-bond couple relationship. Pornography’s sexual script, consisting of eroticism, objectification, promiscuity, and misogyny is on its face antithetical to secure attachment, which is conceptually linked to loneliness. As pornography distorts pair-bond sexuality in these ways, it hinders relationship functioning (Dellner, 2008) and threatens secure attachment (Zitzman & Butler, 2009). Individuals who view pornography regularly may subtly endorse and or enact its sexual script and thereby strain any prospective or current pair-bond relationship.
Study Reveals How Porn Fuels Cycles Of Loneliness In Consumers
Rather than turning to pornography in your loneliness I recommend turning to God’s Word and reading and meditation on Psalm 139. A psalm that focuses on God’s presence with us. If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior I encourage you to turn to him in faith. He promises to be our friend (John 15:50) and to be with us always (Matthew 28:20)
If you’re looking for more advice on how to overcome pornography addiction I highly recommend Benjamin Vrbicek’s book
“Struggle Against Porn”
